5 Things I Wish I Knew About Newborns Before Becoming a Mom
By Dr. Alli Chisholm, PT, DPT, CBS
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Becoming a parent is terrifying, exciting, nerve-wracking, and life-changing—all at the same time.
I remember being at a doctor’s appointment for myself a while ago when a medical assistant asked what I did for work. When I said, “I’m a pediatric physical therapist who works mostly with infants and toddlers,” he immediately replied:
“Oh wow… I’m so scared of babies.”
Honestly? That reaction didn’t surprise me.
I’ve heard it from grown adults more times than I can count. Newborns feel like a completely different world—fragile, unpredictable, and somehow both incredibly simple and impossibly confusing all at once.
And here’s the part people don’t expect:
Even as a pediatric physical therapist, I felt overwhelmed when my first baby was born.
The noise.
The opinions.
The pressure to “do it right.”
So today, I want to share five things I truly wish I knew about newborns when I first became a mom—things I now talk about with nearly every family I work with.
If you’re pregnant, newly postpartum, or just trying to make sense of those early newborn weeks, this is for you.
1. Breastfeeding is new for your baby, just like it’s new for you
If you’re breastfeeding—or planning to—this one matters.
Your newborn is learning how to coordinate sucking, swallowing, and breathing for the very first time. You are learning positioning, latch, body cues, and how to feed a human while you’re exhausted, sore, and healing.
That learning curve is normal.
But here’s the important nuance I wish more new parents were told:
Tenderness and adjustment can be part of early breastfeeding
Severe or persistent pain is not something you need to “push through” (and if you are, you may find this post helpful!)
If feeding feels painful, stressful, or just off, that’s not a failure—it’s information. Reaching out to a trusted lactation professional or feeding-informed pediatric provider can be incredibly supportive early on.
2. You’re not crazy—yes, newborns really do go cross-eyed
This one catches so many parents off guard.
Newborns are still learning how to coordinate their eye muscles and visual system. Seeing your baby go cross-eyed, unfocused, or appear to “drift” is very common in early infancy.
In most cases:
This improves naturally by 3–4 months of age
It’s part of normal newborn visual development
If you’re still noticing it frequently beyond that point, it’s absolutely appropriate to bring it up at your baby’s 4-month pediatrician visit. But early on, this alone is usually not a red flag.
3. You truly do not need all the baby gear
I wish someone had sat me down and said this gently—but clearly:
Your baby does not need a house full of gadgets to thrive (the swing, the bouncer, toys for the entire first year, every outfit under the sun—you know what I mean).
At its core, your newborn needs:
You, a responsive caregiver
Food (breast, bottle, or combination—find bottle recommendations here)
A safe place to sleep, be put down, or be held comfortably and safely with you
That’s it.
Everything else is optional—and ideally should support you, not create more pressure or noise.
4. Yes—tummy time on your chest absolutely counts
This one still grinds my gears.
I’ve heard families told:
“Chest tummy time doesn’t count”
“You need to do an hour of tummy time a day with your newborn”
That kind of advice can create so much unnecessary stress for new parents.
Here’s the truth:
Tummy time on your chest absolutely counts.
Newborns build strength through a variety of positions, not rigid rules. Lying on your chest, being carried upright, or doing short bursts of floor tummy time all support healthy motor development.
Starting with tummy time on you is often the most realistic—and regulated—place to begin in the newborn stage.
5. Your baby’s crying is not a personal failure
This might be the hardest one.
It’s incredibly hard not to take it personally when your newborn is crying and nothing you do seems to help. But crying is your baby’s only form of communication.
It does not mean:
You’re doing something wrong
You’re missing something obvious
You’re failing your baby
Sometimes babies need closeness.
Sometimes they need space.
Sometimes they’re uncomfortable and still figuring out their bodies.
It’s okay to:
Snuggle them close
Put them down safely and take a breath
Call your pediatrician if something feels off—whether that “off” thing might be gas, reflux, or something else
You are allowed to need support, too.
You’re doing the best you can ❤️
Why I Created The Baby Blueprint
After becoming a mom myself—and feeling overwhelmed despite my professional background—I realized how broken newborn education often is.
Too much fear.
Too many rules.
Not enough context, reassurance, or real-life guidance.
That’s why I created The Baby Blueprint: A Holistic Approach to Newborn Parenting & Development.
All in one place, this comprehensive newborn course walks you through:
Newborn development in a way that actually makes sense
Feeding, tummy time, bonding, and calming strategies
Common newborn struggles like gas, reflux, head preference, and sleep
How to support your baby without drowning in conflicting advice
It’s designed to help you feel confident, grounded, and connected—from day one.
👉 Learn more about The Baby Blueprint here.
Want 50% Off the Baby Blueprint?
If you’re not quite ready yet, you can join my email list and receive 50% off The Baby Blueprint Newborn Course.
I also share:
Practical newborn education
Developmental tips that don’t feel overwhelming
Honest, supportive guidance for new parents
👉 Sign up here to get 50% off the course.
Final Thought
If you’re becoming a parent to a newborn soon—or you’re in the thick of it right now—I want you to hear this clearly:
You don’t need to do more.
You don’t need to be perfect.
You deserve to feel supported and confident in caring for your baby.
And you don’t have to figure it all out alone.
You’ve got this—and I’m here to help 💛