How To Deal with Negative Body Image Postpartum
By: Dr. Alli Chisholm, PT, DPT
This one is for the mamas.
There is a lot of pressure that society and/or a mother places on postpartum moms to “bounce back” after having a baby. This unnecessary pressure can place a lot of stress and self-consciousness on a mama, when a new mom is probably already stressed about everything that comes with the new phase of life that they’re in taking care of a newborn, and potentially other kiddos in the household.
So why am I talking about this?
I am going to be vulnerable with you all for a minute here: I suffered from several eating disorders from the time I was eight to 24 years old. Binge eating disorder, bulimia, orthorexia, anorexia… You name it, I was diagnosed with it at some point.
After recovering from my eating disorders, I actually became a coach for women who themselves struggled with their body image and confidence around food. I quickly realized that infant and toddler physical therapy were my true passions that I wanted to pursue, but I remain a strong advocate in the body confidence space.
Here is the truth: your body is meant to change in each phase of life that you’re in. Not just you, either… Everyone. No matter your age, race, gender, career, or socioeconomic status, your body is meant to change throughout your life.
When you are feeling particularly down about the way you look - directly postpartum or otherwise - here are some tried and true methods to get you feeling - at the very least - like you’re on even ground again:
Accept Where You’re At
Yes, practicing self-love is definitely important; the self-love movement is huge and I wholeheartedly agree that loving yourself should be a priority.
But how is it possible to love yourself, to love the body that you’re in, when you’re having a hard time just liking it?
This is where acceptance comes in.
What if you made the leap to just accept how you feel right now; to accept the stage of life your body is in right now versus trying to make the jump to love on it?
Not only can acceptance be the bridge to practicing self-love, but it’s also a way to realize that your reality at this very moment does NOT dictate your future.
What comes with acceptance is also that knowledge that this acceptance you’re willing to have with where your body is at right now is exactly that: your body is in a certain place right now and that does not dictate where it’ll be in the future.
It’s natural for your body to gain weight during pregnancy and it might take awhile for your body to get to a place where you feel good and strong in your own body again.
The “bounce back” concept is disheartening and unfair, due to the fact that your body just birthed a human and may even be feeding said human, therefore meaning that your body is going to be at the weight needed to sustain you and your baby at this time, regardless of what that may look like; this natural part of life - nor any part of life for that better - is not made for pleasing the eyes of the world around you. It’s made for bonding, nourishment, and love.
Lastly on the acceptance train - and also going along with the previous paragraph - remind yourself what you body can DO vs what it looks like: you carried your baby for months, birthed that baby whether by C-section or vaginally, and now are tasked with caring for that baby. You and your body have done - and are doing - a lot.
Breathe
This point is simple, yet so effective. When you’re feeling caught up in thoughts about what your body may look like or how it feels postpartum, simply take a second, close your eyes and breathe slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Feel free to count if you’d like: in for a count of 4, out for a count of 8. Or any other breathing techniques you may have heard of that could be effective for you.
But really, just the act of taking a second to close your eyes and focus on one to three deep breaths will make a huge difference in your present mental state.
Practice Gratefulness
Cliche, but important: practicing gratefulness is the key to getting out of your own head and appreciating the things that are around you.
It could be something as simple as the warm blanket you have cocooned yourself in while snuggling with your baby. Or your toddler giggling at the waves chasing her on the beach. Or for the partner who brings you meals, snacks and water while you feed your baby.
Pause when you notice yourself smiling at something, laughing. Take a mental snapshot of each of these small moments that bring you so much joy. Write them down if that is helpful for you. Bring out that mental or physical list of joys and things you are grateful for when you are feeling down and/or when you’re stuck on negative body image thoughts.
Move Your Body
I’ll admit, this one can be hard to actually get up and do, but it’s so worth it if you make moving your body a priority.
There are many different ways this can look:
Taking a 5-10 minute walk outside while baby wearing your little one and breathing in the fresh air.
Stretching on the floor or on the bed while your baby is sleeping, or even while they are on the floor with you if they tolerate it.
Attending a gentle, slow flow yoga class.
Undergoing pelvic floor therapy to address any tightness or weakness in your body post-pregnancy and birth.
This one could just simply be a distraction more than anything, but you will find that it’s a naturally-uplifting one after your movement of choice is complete.
Buy Clothes That Fit
Post-birth, you may find it difficult to find that you do not fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes, at least not right away.
I’m here to remind you that clothes are made to fit YOU; you are not supposed to mold yourself to fit into clothes.
As we chatted about previously, it is biologically normal for your body to change during each stage of your life. Which also means that the same clothes are not meant to fit you throughout your life.
It’s very possible that you’ll be able to fit into those clothes again someday, but you are not a “bad” or “ugly” person if that is never the case. You will be the happiest, most comfortable, and most confident wearing clothes that fit your body well.
As a side note, if money is tight, thrifting can also be a great option to allow for buying clothes that fit you to be a more feasible option. And I’m telling you, a comfy pair of yoga pants will never go out of style!
In all honesty, I use one, all, or most of these tools on a daily basis to get myself out of my own head, whether it comes to a negative body image thought, or something else that may be hard that is going on in my life. With practice, it is so much easier to move through those hard moments and thoughts when utilizing these suggestions.
As a disclaimer, I am not a licensed mental health professional. What I AM is a mama of two babies, who recovered from 16 years of disordered eating and negative body image. Being an advocate in this body confident space is an ongoing passion of mine and I hope you found some hope and guidance in the words I have typed above.